Synopsis:
Desperate to break free…
I've spent my entire life under my father’s thumb, but now I'm finally free to make my own choices. When my roommate dragged me to my first college party, I met Finn Coram and my life turned inside out. He knows how to break the rules and is everything I never knew I wanted. A Marine by day and surfer by night, he pushes me away even as our attraction brings us closer. Now I am finally free to do whatever I want. I know what I want. I choose Finn.
Trying to play by the rules...
I always follow orders. My job, my life, depends on it. I thought this job would be easy, all the rules were made crystal clear, but when I met Carrie Wallington, everything got muddy. She's a rule I know I shouldn't break, but damn if I don’t inch closer to the breaking point each time I see her. I’m ready to step out of line. And even worse? I’m living a lie. They say the truth will set you free, but in my case…
The truth will cost me everything.
Synopsis:
Desperate to keep him...
I've finally gotten everything I ever wanted: love, freedom, happiness, and, most importantly, Finn. Our love is everything I expected it to be and more. We've finally found each other, but the world seems determined to tear us apart. We thought my father was the only obstacle between us, but now it's the military. With Finn’s departure looming, we’re squeezing in every moment together before we run out of time.
Trying to make every moment count…
Being Carrie’s bodyguard was one thing. Being her boyfriend is another. Every day she’s mine is a day the sun shines in my life. Yet our time together is running out. Her father will never think a tattooed Marine will be good enough, so I’ll do whatever it takes to be worthy of her love. But the road will take me away from the girl who makes me feel alive--the girl I can't live without.
Time only gets us so far...
Synopsis:
Reaching for sunlight...
Finn survived the ambush and came home to me, but in his head, the battle is still raging. He’s falling apart and I’m trying my best to pick up the pieces of him, to find the us we used to be. I love him as much as I ever did, but love isn’t enough to fix this. I thought telling my father about our relationship would be the hardest thing we’d ever have to face. I was wrong.
Lost in shadows...
All I wanted was to be worthy of Carrie. One mission, just one, and I’d be able to give her the future she deserved. Then everything went wrong, leaving me tainted and broken. Carrie wants me to be who I was, but all that’s left is what they made of me. I’m no good for her. No good for anyone like this. I have to figure out how to move forward. Alone.
Sometimes love isn’t enough…
Deleted
Scene from Out Of Time: Part Three of Three
This
was the original ending to Out of Time, before I decided to change it from a
novella to a full length novel. Once I made the book longer, a bunch of stuff
changed, including the way/place/time that Finn told Carrie he would be
leaving. As did the reasons why. Enjoy! --Jen
This whole fucking weekend had
been hell. My C.O. had waited until the last possible second to tell us what
was going on, and even then it’d been with reluctance after countless
questions. After they poked us with needles for hours, and had given us God
knows how many vaccinations, they made us spend all fucking night filling out
paperwork. I hadn’t slept at all, but I didn’t want Carrie to know that.
She was already worried enough.
There was no reason she needed
to know about how I hadn’t slept since Friday night, and probably wouldn’t be
sleeping much at all in the next year. This whole picnic thing was all both
bittersweet and ridiculous. The not talking about what we were both so
obviously thinking about was even more so.
It was time to just man up and
open my fucking mouth. She was ready now.
I closed my hands around the
back of her waist, holding on tight in case she tried to bolt or something.
Fuck if I knew. I just knew I needed to hold onto her. “I’m going on
deployment.”
She squeezed her eyes shut
again, tears streaming down her cheeks, but she didn’t make a sound. She just
sat there, her eyes tightly shut like a little kid who was too scared to open
her eyes, and didn’t move. I held her, letting her process it all, and tried
not to freak out myself. Not because I was scared to go over. I mean…I was a little bit.
But mostly because I wanted her
to be okay.
After what felt like fucking
hours, she opened her eyes. She looked so resolute and strong, even with wet
cheeks and makeup running down her face, that she took my breath away. “Where
are they sending you?” she asked, her voice surprisingly steady.
“I’m not entirely sure yet. I’m
not even sure that I can say, once I do know.” I rubbed her lower back gently,
still not letting go of her. If I had it my way, I’d never let go of her again
until I had to walk on that fucking ship. “I think we’re going out on the
Cleveland, but I could be wrong.”
She licked her lips, not
dropping my gaze. She was so strong. So fucking strong. “How soon?”
“It’s looking like it’ll be
after Christmas sometime. It’s still in the early stages, but I know we’ll be
doing workups sooner.” I hesitated, not sure how much information I should give
her. “We’ll be going to a combat zone, but I don’t know if I will be able to
tell you anything else.”
She made a small sound, but
clamped her lips together. “I…see.”
“Carrie…”
“I’m fine. We’re fine.” She
cupped my cheek with one hand, the other one still pressing against the spot in
between my shoulder blades. “I love you.”
I swallowed hard, the emotions
inside of me warring with one another. I let go of her and lowered my head, not
wanting her to see the tears that welled in my eyes. I wasn’t fucking crying, damn it. I was just moved by her
emotions.
But on top of that, I knew it
wasn’t fair of me to put her through all this shit. When I’d given her the “I don’t date because of my job” excuse,
it hadn’t been one hundred percent truth. I hadn’t even been referring to my
job as a Marine.
But now…now maybe I was getting
that a little bit better.
Maybe it wasn’t fair of me to do
this to her.
“I’m sorry, Ginger.” I closed my
eyes and breathed her in. “I know you didn’t sign on for this when we fell in
love. I’m sure you weren’t thinking of how this would be, or how you would feel
if I went away.”
“I tried not to think about it, but I freaking knew it
was possible.” Her fingers flexed on my shoulder. “I’m not as weak as you think
I am. I— ”
“Weak? Are you shitting me?” I
laughed, the words flowing without a stop valve. “I think you’re the strongest
fucking person I know, but I’m terrified to ruin that in you. Scared to ruin you.”
Her eyes flashed at me. “And how
the heck are you going to ruin me?”
I should just break it off. Walk
away and set her free. But beneath all my brave words and actions, I was a
selfish man who didn’t want her to leave me. Who didn’t want to let her go, even
if I knew I should. But I had to be honest with her. “I might die. And if I
did, then you’ll—”
She made a broken sound, tears
filling her eyes again, and smacked me. “You will not die. Tell me you won’t. Promise
me.”
My heart wrenched. “I can’t make
a promise I can’t keep, Ginger. You know that.”
“That’s why I need you to
promise me.” She shook her head, the tears streaming down her face, clinging to
my arms so hard it hurt almost as much as my heart did at the sight of her tear
filled eyes. “If you say it, I know you’ll be okay. I know you’ll stay safe for
me.”
I wanted to give it to her.
Wanted to make her feel better. But what if I went and died? I didn’t want the
last promise I made her to be a lie. Fuck no. I ducked my head lower, hiding my
eyes from her. She was fucking killing me here. “Damn it, I wish I could. But I
can’t.”
Her lower lip trembled, but she
bit down on it so hard I feared she would draw blood. “Please.”
I buried my face in her neck,
hugging her against my chest as best I could. I swallowed hard, my chest and
throat tight. “I promise to be diligent and to keep myself as safe as possible.
I promise not to be an idiot. I promise not to be a martyr. But most
importantly, I promise to fall asleep every night with you on my mind, and wake
up smiling because I’m lucky enough to have you in my life.”
And just like that, I broke her.
“Finn…”
She let out a shattered sob, her
whole body trembling in my arms. She felt so fucking frail and small just now,
even though I knew underneath the fragile façade she was stronger than anyone
I’d ever met. My heart shattered and I blinked rapidly, my own vision blurring.
I couldn’t handle her tears, damn it. “Shit, don’t cry. Not for me.”
“I c-can’t stop,” she wailed,
holding me even closer. “I’m s-sorry.”
She was sorry?
Seriously. This was all my fault. Not hers. My chest grew even tauter. I wanted
to say something, anything, to make her feel better. Anything to make the
moment less terrifying for her. Less painful. “I love you, and nothing is going
to stop me from coming back here to you. Nothing.”
She drew back and looked up at
me. Her eyes were red and the tip of her nose was even redder. It was fucking
adorable, even if my heart broke to see her so upset. “I love you too.
Just…just do your best. That’s all I can ask.”
I forced a smile. What if I came
home crippled or broken or shot? Or what if I came home so fucked up I wasn’t
even the man I used to be? The man she fell in love with. Would she still love
me then? Would anyone? “I will.”
She took a shaky breath and
swiped her hands across her face, trying to get rid of the tears. All it did
was smear her makeup worse. “Will you still be able to come home with me for
the holidays?”
“I think so.” I twisted my lips
into what I hoped was a smile. “As long as I’m not floating in the middle of
the ocean for it.”
She tried to smile but failed as
horribly as I probably did. “And what will my dad do? Does he know about this?”
“He knows it’s possible I’m
going, but I didn’t talk to him yet. I’m sure I’ve got a million texts from him
by now.” I dropped my forehead to hers. “This is all just logistical bullshit,
really. It’ll all be the same except…I’ll be gone.”
“And Dad will send someone else
in your place.” Her lower lip quivered. “Maybe we should tell him I know, and then
I’ll tell him to knock it the heck off.”
I cocked a brow even though she
couldn’t see me. “Do you think it would work?”
“No,” she admitted. “It didn’t
work last time. He sent you.”
“No falling in love with the
next one,” I said, keeping my voice light. “I’ll have to come back and kick his
ass.”
She chuckled, but it sounded
forced. Of course it fucking did. “I promise that won’t happen.”
“And when I’m over there…” I
broke off, not sure how to word this in a way that wouldn’t piss her off, but
then decided I couldn’t think of a single way. “Just let me know if something
changes, you know?”
She stiffened. “Like?”
“Like if you meet someone who
isn’t in the fucking desert.” I tightened my grip on her when she started to
pull away. “Hey, I’m just saying—”
She squirmed. “Yeah, well, just say it one more time and I’ll punch
you so hard in the balls you won’t be able to talk in anything but a soprano
for a month.”
I pulled back and looked her in
the eye for the first time since she started crying. I finally had myself under
control. “It’s just that I love you enough to be able to let you go, if that’s
best for you.”
“Being without you will never be best for me.” She pressed her
lips together. “No matter what, it’s me and you together—even if we’re apart.
Promise?”
“I promise.” I kissed the tip of
her still red nose. “It’s us against the world.”
She gave me a small smile.
“Right. And together, how could we possibly lose?”
Her grip on me tightened, and
she kissed me. She tasted like wine and tears, and I pressed even closer to
her, needing more. Needing so much fucking more.
The night had fallen, and the
dark shadows surrounded us, but all I smelled and heard and felt was her. I knew if a threat came close-by,
I’d be on my feet in two-point-two seconds, fists swinging. But right now, we
were alone on a dark beach. Our
beach.
When I’d seen her, in tiny
shorts and a striped sweater looking for all the world like she was standing at
gunpoint instead of waiting for her boyfriend to come, my heart had stopped.
Literally stopped. I would never get used to the way she made me feel.
How much better she made me.
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Jen McLaughlin is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author. She writes steamy New Adult books for the young and young at heart. Her first release, Out of Line, came out September 2013. She also writes bestselling Contemporary Romance under the pen name Diane Alberts.Since receiving her first contract offer under the pen name Diane Alberts, she has yet to stop writing. She is represented by Louise Fury at The Bent Agency.Though she lives in the mountains, she really wishes she was surrounded by a hot, sunny beach with crystal clear water. She lives in Northeast Pennsylvania with her four kids, a husband, a schnauzer mutt, a cat, and a Senegal parrot. In the rare moments when she’s not writing, she can usually be found hunched over one knitting project or another. Her goal is to write so many well-crafted romance books that even a non-romance reader will know her name.
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